Door of Hope and Expectation

Being authentic is what this blog is all about, but sometimes that’s much harder than it seems. Sometimes being authentic means that I have to take time to stop and be present with reality. (Wait, that makes me sound crazy or that I live in la-la world, but stick with me…)

My mantra for 2013 is being PRESENT. Being present forces me to really think about what’s happening NOW.

I have not been shy that I have been walking through some hard times and while I’d love to go into knitty gritty details, for now will you just trust me that it’s been hard? This past year has been the most difficult of my life, feeling like it’s been one hard blow after another. Being PRESENT during this season has been painful, has been very challenging for me to say the least. It’s very much my personality to be a optimist, to just say “This is only for a time, this is just a season. It’s going to be so good…. eventually!”

But I realized that just focusing on the future and trusting God to work all of the circumstances out for good means I miss out on what God is trying to teach me NOW. In my present. Only looking towards the light at the end of the tunnel means that I loose my footing in the here and now. Sort of like missing the forrest for the trees, ya know?

I’m being really authentic, my present has seemed more gloomy than cheery, more lonely than fulfilled, more sad than happy and there has been more grieving than rejoicing. I have felt angry, shameful, confused, and hurt. (Remember, I’m only supposed to be HAPPY right? I’m pregnant after all… That’s for another day.) But do you know what? God has met me in all of those places. God has been with me as I cried, whispered to me in my loneliness, comforted me better than anyone ever could and reminded me softly that HE is WITH me.

So being PRESENT reminds me of His PRESENCE and that has truly been the greatest blessing of all.

One incredible thing about this season is how abundantly God has been providing for my every need. If I’m having a particularly hard day, He will shower me with 3 or 4 friends who called/texted/emailed just to say that God had put me on their hearts to pray for me and to let me know. Whoah! THAT has blown me away, to know how intimately my God and my dear friends care for me and are obedient to His promptings.

I recently had lunch with two incredible women that God placed in my life to encourage me, and one woman shared how she too had been through the same season of life. She shared that she had a beautiful photograph of a door (she brought it with her to show me!) with this verse below it:

Therefore, behold, I will allure her [Israel] and bring her into the wilderness, and I will speak tenderly and to her heart. There I will give her her vineyards and make the Valley of Achor [troubling] to be for her a door of hope and expectation. And she shall sing there and respond as in the days of her youth and as at the time when she came up out of the land of Egypt. (Hosea 2:14, 15 AMP)

And I was immediately touched to my core as she read me this verse. I have felt like I’ve been living in the wilderness, but I’ve also been feeling the Lord speaking tenderly straight to my heart. Being PRESENT helps me stop and listen to what the Lord is speaking to me. This verse is a promise to me. It’s a reminder that while presently I’m in the wilderness, that God will provide for me both now and in the future. That he will turn my Valley of Troubling into a Door of Hope and Expectation, just like He did for my sweet angel lunch buddy. Praise the LORD!

The photo above is one that I took almost 3 years ago in Cortona, Italy and I think it fits this verse PERFECTLY. I shot it down a long, dark alleyway and this gorgeous door full of light was at the end. I think I even cropped out some of the darkness at the time I edited it, oh the irony! I am going to get this printed and it will remind me of this great promise. {Click here if you’d like to download the print for you to have too!}

I hope that this is encouraging to you too, that wherever you are – whether in a joyful season or a troubling season like I am – that God is WITH you. God will provide. God wants to speak tenderly to your heart, to provide HOPE and EXPECTATION to you. I’m clinging to that and I hope you will too!

I love you friends!
{Whew!! OK that wasn’t so hard!!}